In the midst of my unparalleled success with pensioners and men too young to shave, you could be forgiven for thinking that I never meet anyone that remotely floats my boat.
I recently met a young (but not too young) man who both floated my boat AND set my heart a-flutter.
In fact, he’s an old friend (perfect: no nasty skeletons in the closet), who’s quite tall, quite dark and reasonably handsome. So far, so good.
He’s also intelligent, great company and has all his own teeth. Excellent. What’s more, he’s within FIVE years of my own age (younger, but that’s fine). He’s even got himself a fitness regime since we last got together and is looking buffer than ever.
And what’s more, I think maybe – just maybe – he likes me, too.
So, you might be wondering, what on earth’s stopping me?
Well, if I’m being picky (but let’s be clear, I’m not) I’d say he’s a workaholic who’s not especially chivalrous, but I can live with that. And since we’re both a bit backwards in coming forwards, I’m not 100% sure that he’s as keen as I am. Although you don’t spend two hours on the phone to someone you feel only ‘meh’ about … do you?
No, the real stumbling block of this relationship is a small, but not insignificant, factor that effectively puts the kibosh on any potential romance: he lives in Australia.
Now, I know that the world has never been smaller, etc., etc., but Oz is still an incredibly loooong way away. And the irony of the situation is that we got together a few times while he was still in Europe, but the sparks only flew on my Christmas hols Down Under, where he moved just a short time ago.
Ever get the feeling Cupid’s laughing up his sleeve?
In an ideal world, we’d be able to hang out a bit, enjoy each other’s company, see how things go. But these simple things become a little more challenging when your potential beau isn’t even in the same hemisphere.
Even assuming that he IS as keen as I am, he can’t come here (he’s contracted for another year or two) and I can’t go there (trying to prise anything but a holiday visa from the Australian authorities is like trying to steal a joey from a mummy roo’s pouch), so it’s hard to see where this will end.
Is it worth having a crush on someone who’s 10,000 miles away?
For now, Skype is our friend, and we chat for hours at inconvenient times of the day and night.
All I can do is enjoy his company while it’s there … and give Cupid a black eye when I see him.