Ohmigod. The unthinkable just happened.
I just got a message from a guy who seems NORMAL.
Oh, wait a minute. Did I mention I went back to the dating site? I went back to the dating site.
Actually, I was just planning to re-instate my membership, have a quick snoop around to check for any new faces, then de-activate it again. But it turns out you can’t do that. No, once you’ve decided to snoop around, you have to be active for at least a week. Rats.
So, quietly biding my time until I can once more hit delete, I’ve been fielding (read: deleting) quite a few uninspiring messages:
“So what is it your looking for yummy” [sic]
“Hey babe you look horny LOL”
“U look like a hot one LOL!!”
Even reading these moronic missives, I can feel my hackles rising, and my aversion to LOL is back with a vengeance. I mean, really, what’s there to LOL about?
Anyway, in the midst of all this mildly priapic spam, I get a message that simply says:
“Hello! How are you doing? How’s your week going so far? I’m look for new friends as well as a partner and, as we’re not too far apart, I thought I’d come and say hi.”
I have to read it twice just to check I haven’t missed some salacious subtext. Nope. It seems like a message from A Normal Guy.
I click to his profile: 36, tallish, darkish, handsome-ish; athletic build (he says); fluent in English and Greek, with an intelligent profile that contains not a single LOL.
I’m immediately suspicious. Ah wait. He’s a Christian, and I’m definitely not … but in the face of so many other positive traits I’m prepared to reserve judgement, especially as it’s only the second time I’ve corresponded with A Normal Guy on the dating site.
(The first seemingly Normal Guy was intelligent and fun in correspondence, but turned out to be rather reticent about making any real-life contact. I couldn’t even persuade him to come for an innocent coffee.
Now you can call me picky, but I consider meeting someone a pre-requisite for any form of friendship, never mind a relationship, so that one never really got off the ground. Still, he remains an intermittent pen-friend and advisor on the State of Things from a male perspective, which is nice. And, occasionally, maddening.)
Anyway, I’m so joyously overwhelmed by the outstanding normalness of Normal Guy’s message that I feel compelled to reply, and reply with haste. So I quickly compose an equally normal message and, with fingers crossed, hit send.
Also in my inbox is a message from Uni Boy. He’s finally being transferred, to a city that’s not too far away – but far enough.
I’m pleased for him, of course: it’s a promotion, and a good step up for him. But while part of me is glad that we’ll finally step off the merry-go-round of our own making, I admit that part of me will miss him.
Because even though he was never mine and could, at times, drive me to distraction, his hugs really did warm me to the bone. And although we’ve had the craziest arguments about the most ridiculous things, when it was fun, it really was fun.
But sometimes Cupid knows what’s best, and steps in to make sure that things happen as they should. So off Uni Boy goes, and here I stay.
And that’s all there really is to say, except thanks, Uni Boy, and good luck. And keep a hug to one side, just for me.