So it turns out the Darkly Intriguing Man From The Gym has a girlfriend.

Of course he has. Of course.

I learn this in passing during a casual conversation with mutual friends. Luckily, not because I asked, but because they happened to use his name in conjunction with another – female – name several times. Naturally, I don’t say a thing, but I think back on our online chats and quietly wonder if there’s any way I could have misread his words.

In the last few days, we’ve spent hours online, so when I get home I re-read everything, wondering if I’ve been seeing something that wasn’t there.

I see all the kisses, all the flirtatious comments, the suggestions of places to go together… and I don’t think I was wrong to read it as I did. Which makes me wonder: what hope is there of finding a decent man if even the nice guys (and our few mutual friends routinely refer to the DIMFTG as “a really nice guy”) are this disloyal?

What’s even worse is that the DIMFTG surely tells himself there’s nothing wrong with his behaviour. After all, he’s not done anything improper: just messaged a friend, maybe gone out with her for a coffee a few times.

But I wonder how he’d feel if his girlfriend were to read our correspondence? Because I think that level of friendship and intimacy would make any girl feel uncomfortable.

And even though I’ve never met this woman, I feel as I’ve let her down.

This variance in perspective seems to be a fundamental difference between men and women. I can’t tell you the amount of men I’ve met … at parties, in bars, on the street … who’ve been all too happy chatting and flirting – even asking for my phone number – when all the time they’ve got a girlfriend.

Of course, there are plenty of men who are completely honest and completely faithful, but I’ve still heard innumerable sob stories, of the “my girlfriend doesn’t understand me” variety.

This kind of man makes me want to shake them by the shoulders whilst yelling, “Oh, please! Spare me!”

After all, nobody’s forcing you to be in a relationship, and if it’s not right, then change it; either work on it to make it better or get out. Don’t sit there whining about it to someone you’ve just met in a bar. It’s hard to tell who these men have least respect for: me, their girlfriend or themselves.

But anyway, the DIMFTG’s girlfriend has nothing to fear. In this respect, I’m 100% a girls’ girl: no matter how charming the man may be, I’m not about to collude with him in his disloyalty. Because nobody deserves to be cheated on or whined about behind their back … and also because I hope that if I’m ever in a similar situation, that girl will do the same for me.

Mind you, the way things are going, the chances of finding myself in any sort of romantic situation are looking increasingly slim. Even the sexy barista has found himself a girlfriend – oh yes, indeed – and here I am, still waiting for my frog prince.

Since all other avenues have failed me, there’s only one thing for it: I’m going to start a Blue Peter appeal.

Somebody, somewhere must know a single man of decent character, between the ages of 30 and 40, with all his own teeth. Surely it’s not that much to ask? (If he can string a sentence together without using the word ‘LOL’ then so much the better.)

Dear friends, if you know of someone who fits this description, parcel him up and send him over NOW. Your actions can make a difference; your actions can make the world a better place.

Your actions can save me from a life of knitting doilies and a subscription to ‘Cat Lovers Weekly’.

Act now. Please. Act now.